Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Burning minds

I had chanced upon the Blank Noise project and decided to write this post.

Disclaimer: This has nothing to do with Women's liberation, women's day or equal rights!!

I learnt what you wear doesnt matter!!
If you wear western clothes, men will size you up, pass lewd comments and will prob stray their hands on you. If you clad yourself in traditional clothes, its easier for them. So what would you do? Never mind what you wear, they would do it anyways!!

I Learnt being alone in public places is a curse
What would you do to commute from home to office on evenings? Take the local bus. You have just given yourself away to men waiting to clutch this offer. I had done that once and sworn never to do it again. When men press your back with their crotch, when their hands are crawling on your body and your trying to keep your feet on the ground in a jam packed bus, When the man next to you has white hair and no teeth slides his hand down you front.. your love for 'man'kind jus diminished into a thin invisble line. What had you done wrong? You had boarded the local bus.

Justice is unheard off when it comes to exploitation and harassment.
Everyday when i listen to the evening news, there are stories about women raped in
trains, buses, toilets. Your father-in law, brother-in law, uncle, boss any of them could be the demons waiting to strip you off your pride.Did anybody tell you that its not your fault. You shouldn't be ashamed of what happened because some men are born without morality or humanity.

This is not about men in general, this is about men who cannot see a woman with straight clear eyes without wondering how she would be in the nude or fantasizing ur hands drawing patterns...you cannot claim what is not yours. Your one moment of raging lust would leave a scar so deep it would take a lifetime to heal the wounds. You CANNOT Undo it!!You lewd souls are to be slashed, whipped and hung till the tears stop.

We are the weaker sex - that was nature's order. And that is no excuse to exploit us!! If you have the power to commit a crime and do a wrong and still you let it pass and do nothing.. that my men is what is strength.

I cannot stop all the men in the world from such shameless acts but i will protest.
P.S:This was written after reading Ponc's and annie's post.


Arjun.C.N said...

Thats really painful to read about.. I dont deny it all... but personally i have never seen such acts in public or even heard of it from my friends.

My friends here in chennai n Cbe roam out a lot... alone all over India.. went for weekend trips to Srilanka Andaman n wat not but I have never heard a single complaint from them reg this.

More and more you go inside your shell... even a small intrusion will sound big!!!

But really sorry about it ME. But not all men are like wat u described!!! Everybody have their own fantasies about women. Thats cos they are men... but i dont think it would be this crude!!! Atleast I have never felt so!!

Me said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Me said...

@arjun: They have been extremely lucky i shd say!!Am not saying all men are bad or all women are saints...and this is not abt sympathy. This about something else!! Its about the anguish, morbid fear...
Lets just say these are very painful incidents to recollect. Time does wash away these bruises and heals the wounds but it does take aeons for that to happen!!

Arjun.C.N said...

I would say they are bold enough not to let people behave in any obscene way. They are open minded but they know their limits. I admire that quality a lot in them.

But why do you want to recollect these painful incidents?? My suggestion would be stand up for it... never let it happen again... Thats wat a smart one should do!!!

Even in Annie's post... she retaliated after so long!!! After almost ten years!!! Why??? I hope atleast U were not put into such shameful incidents!!!

Me said...

@arjun: This has nothing to do with boldness and shame. Can you actually stop other people from behaving in any obscene way? i doubt.. You can only be responsible for your actions.
I've been lucky too.. not because am bold or open minded or i would hang that guy who dunnit but because i've been LUCKY.
Even if you stand up for it and fight for it, it would be difficult to erase the scars.

Arjun.C.N said...

I completely agree... but when u stand up and fight .. you chase them away... that will give you mor confidence and make you feel good!!! next time you would be ready - not to let anyone touch you!!!

After all girls are human too... you can be as powerful as u think a guy would be... only if u want to be!!! There is no point in not protesting when it happened and going home n crying over it creating scars!!! - This is based on what numerous comments says in Annies post!!!

There is no such thing called weaker sex among the two!!! One's fall is others rise!! If u stand up to it - I am sure u can stop other people's actions!! atleast with reg to this context!!!

Baejaar said...

Its a fine balance between the two.

Whether to drag them to the police station or not depends on the victims mindset. Its easy to say that we should immediately file a complaint and make sure that they are thrown behind the bars. But then it depends on how supportive and co-operative are these policemen. I have seen police personel as bad as these criminals. Apart from which its understandable if we sometimes feel ashamed when we are violated.

But if we do take a stand and take the legal recourse, we would have reduced the no of criminals (criminal seems as an understatement) by one. Thereby making the society a bit better than what it was before.

Chennai has frequent but crowded service while Bangalore buses are usually less crowded. So I assumed that things will be better in Bangalore than in Chennai. I am surprised that its not the case.

Ms.N said...

i heard about this blank noise project... well, cant blog abt it, but can certainly add my 2 pence!!!

While this blank noise project is creating a lot of awareness, are we getting the message across to people who it needs to be sent to?

a lot of women harassers and eve teasers come from the low-income grp... a lot of the problem (especially those in the buses) is from the lower income strata, uneducated lot who still cant handle womens freedom! i wonder how we can fight those men???

but ofcourse, i've faced issues with men in share autos - and these are educated guys who work in well to do "software" companies, and all u can only wonder at their base nature!

the problem with a lot of women: when u think a guy is acting funny with u, u give him the benefit of doubt ...u think 'mebbe it was a mistake'!!! unfortunately, a lot of assholes get away like tht!!!

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